Waiting SUCKS!

I’ve decided that having a biopsy on a Friday is a most cruel and unusual punishment.  My biopsy took place Friday afternoon after 2 more mammograms and another ultrasound.

Here’s the good news:  Originally the mammo center stated that there were 3 areas of concern.  The surgeon’s office couldn’t find more than two (couldn’t replicate the third one) and one of them they’re convinced is dense breast tissue which causes shadows on ultrasounds.  The Dr. who did my biopsy actually said, “This is awful to say, but ultimately, you can make an ultrasound look like anything.”  Really… that’s comforting.  So rather than take a biopsy in three locations, they only took two.  The biopsy of the shadowed area was just to prove to themselves and me that it is, in fact, nothing to be concerned about.

Now for the bad news: The second spot wasn’t received with such skepticism.  Biopsy Doc actually said that it was most concerning to her of all of the locations and the results could go either way.  Call me crazy, but that did not give me a good feeling.  If this doc thought that that it was nothing, I don’t think she would have said, “it could go either way.”

And for the even WORSE news:  I’ve spent the last 66 hours thinking about NOTHING else.  And then it gets worse… they don’t expect results until late Tuesday or Wednesday.  So I could be waiting up to 96 hours for the results of this damn test.

To say that I would give my right arm for an anti-anxiety pill right now is an understatement! 

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Want to know what you do while you wait?  You spend every waking hour looking up every possible outcome on the Internet.  Surgery: Lumpectomy vs. Mastectomy?  Reconstruction: TRAM Flap vs. Implants?  How long will I be off of work?  How long until my short-term disability kicks in?  How much of my pay will I actually receive?  How am I going to do this financially?

And then the biggest, scariest question of all:  If the news is bad… how do I tell my mom?

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